Building Rapport With Women
You’ve just met the woman of your dreams! She’s hot, athletic, and you share very similar interests. You know you’ve just met your soulmate.
You take her out for coffee, get to know her better, and pour your heart out to this woman. You're in love! Over the next week or two you hit it off so well that she starts calling you her new “best friend.” That’s fantastic! Right?
No, not really…
This happens all the time. A guy meets a girl, acts like a friend, so she then treats him like a friend. Worse, now she’s got him pigeon holed as being “friendship only” material. Unfortunately, once you’re stuck in friendship hell, it’s almost impossible to claw your way out.
It’s great to share interests with a woman, it’s nice to have similar hobbies, but keep in mind that the objective here isn’t to find a new best friend. Your objective is to find a lover. And women don’t sleep with their friends.
You need to make it very clear from the beginning that you’re ATTRACTED to her. She needs to know from the get go that you’re interested in more than just being her friend. You do this by flirting, making suggestive comments, by putting your arm around her when appropriate. Basically you need to put the moves on her physically.
Some guys seem to think that they can weasel their way into a relationship. “I’ll act like the sweet sensitive guy that really cares about her, and then when she trusts me I’ll get into her pants!” It doesn’t work that way.
You need to make a move at some point, and that’s usually when you go in for the kiss. I’ve known guys that were so afraid of making that one simple basic move, that they’d go on date after date before trying to establish any form of intimacy. Months later when they’d finally get up the courage to go for it, the object of their desire would be offended. By that time she’d come to view the poor chump as being her good friend and would feel that he’d betrayed their friendship. Act like a chump and you’ll be treated like one.
It’s ok to take it slow, but you need to make a move physically at some point or you’ll establish a pattern of friendship only. If all you do is take a woman out and do friend type stuff, then she’ll assume that’s all you are, a friend.
I like to set the pace from the first date. I’ll flirt with a woman and openly admire her beauty. I’m not afraid to let her know that I want her physically. You shouldn’t over do it, but you’re a man and men have needs. You don’t need to hide them or make excuses for your desires. At the very least I’ll go in for a quick kiss by the end of the night, even if it’s just on their hand.
You NEVER EVER force yourself upon a woman, EVER! But you absolutely let them know that you’re interested in more than just being a friend. For more information about getting stuck in the friend zone, read our article on Just Friends.