Work On Your Smile
I was recently at a dance club with a buddy of mine. He’s a pretty smooth guy, not afraid to approach hot women, and is fairly decent looking. The problem this night was that he couldn’t land a dance! Not one!
I was sitting at the bar watching him approach woman after woman and being turned down repeatedly. It was a sad spectacle to behold. After awhile he joined me at the bar. Looking dejected he said “Man I really need a drink!” No doubt…
I let him sit there for awhile so he could get started on his drink and recover a bit. After a few minutes of silence I asked him how his day had gone. “It was a tension filled day of madness at the office as usual. Whatever could go wrong did, and I got in an argument with the guys in media over a billing issue. It was just a really crappy day!”
All of that tension and stress he experienced at the office, he brought right into the club with him. You should go out clubbing to relax, to have a good time. I was watching him when he approached all those women. He often didn’t smile at all, and when he attempted to it looked forced and disingenuous. Kind of like, “I’m only here to get laid, and I can see that you’re somewhat attractive. I’ll chit chat with you for a few minutes then we’ll go back to my place. Cool?”
That approach is never, ever going to work. Women are attracted to men full of energy and life. If you walk up to a woman with the weight of the world on your shoulders, she’s going to see it. They’re also going to see your lack of enthusiasm in just having a conversation with them. What do you think their perception of you will be as a potential lover?
First of all, you should never go out to meet women when you’re stressed out and feeling down. If you feel that way then you should go do something active to work off the stress. Go for a run or hit the gym.
If you absolutely must go out, then at least smile when you approach women! Not smiling shows disinterest and just makes you look tired and grumpy. Faking a smile can be even worse. It can make you look shifty, as if you have something to hide. Women are pros at reading men and can spot a fake smile a mile away.
If it’s hard for you to smile naturally then practice in front of a mirror. Think of things that genuinely amuse you. Try to recreate that warm smile you flash your mother. Practice forming different types of smiles, everything from broad ear to ear grins, to subtle smirks of amusement. Practice until you can recreate them easily without forcing them. This can take practice. You don’t need to be able to manipulate your face like Jim Carey does, but the ability to flash a bright, genuine smile at a moments notice should become second nature.
If I’m really nervous when approaching a group of women, I’ll think of something that makes me happy as I’m walking up to them. This will make me smile naturally and briefly take my mind off the fact that I’m anxious. Once the conversation starts the nervousness will fade.
When you approach a hot woman for the first time you should be able to dazzle her with a warm smile. You should be able to smile naturally because you are happy that you’re about to meet an attractive woman. If you’re not happy to be meeting her then why are you approaching her in the first place? Always be aware of what your face is saying, as sometimes it matters more than the words coming out of your mouth.