Who Pays On The First Date?





I’m actually surprised that I’m writing this article.  Most of this is just common sense, but we do receive a surprising number of emails each month here at Zewb.com asking about first date etiquette.  How to act, who pays for what, and when is it ok to let her pay?

The basic answer to the title of this article is YOU DO!  You’re on a date.  You get to pay for everything, period.  The basic rule of thumb is that you pay for everything unless she insists upon paying.  If she offers to pay for a meal, drink, doodad, politely decline the offer and pay.

If she insists upon paying, then let her.  Some guys will get into this macho, “It’s ok little woman, I’ll take care of it,” and will not back down.  This is the opposite extreme and will kill the date just as quickly as being cheap will.

Paying for everything does not mean that you have to give in to her every whim.  You’re not a walking bank.  You’re not there to take her on a shopping spree.  But if you stop by the coffee shop, of course you offer to buy her a drink.

You act like a gentleman on the date.  You open doors for your date.  You unlock her car door first, and open and close the door for her.  You offer her your arm when walking across uneven flooring.  Many of today’s feminists will insist upon opening and closing their own doors, and that’s ok!  Let them.  But always carry out your gentlemanly duties until your date tells you otherwise.

A common email we receive asks how to handle the date if she asks you out.  The answer is that there is no difference.  Unfortunately you still have to pay for it.  That is unless she absolutely insists on treating you.  The same rules apply.  You’re on a date.  You get to pay for it.

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