“And remember to put enough cream in my coffee this time!”
“Yes honey,” the poor clueless chump says as he heads over to the kitchen to grab his wife a drink. “Man, I remember when she used to be happy to get MY drinks! What happened!” he muses sadly.
I’ve been seducing women for years. Throughout those years I’ve come in contact with a handful of guys that are nearly as good as me at picking up women. The key phrase here is “SEDUCING” women.
What happens when they go past that early stage and enter into a real relationship? Often times they fall flat on their face. They’re GREAT during the early stages; remaining a mystery, not calling too often, not becoming attached, and keeping their options open. But once it gets past all that and moves into commitment time or even marriage, things often go downhill fast. The “seducers” become chumps. Sadly, I’ve seen it happen time and time again.
Once they’re in a serious relationship they stop dating other women. This puts them in an emotionally vulnerable position. By this point in the relationship they’ve opened up to their woman which makes them even more vulnerable. Eventually most guys become dependant upon the relationship. They’re so afraid of losing their woman that they stop acting like men and allow themselves to be “trained.”
Quality women will constantly challenge you. Even after years of marriage, they’ll still test you. Why? Because just like us, they’re always looking for the upper hand in a relationship. They also challenge us because they want a man. They actually need to be told “NO” occasionally. Sure she’ll whine and say “So & So would never treat me like this!” Yeah, and that’s why you’ve got the girl and that other guy is just a friend.
Challenging them doesn’t mean to treat them poorly or to act like a jerk half the time. It means to keep the relationship fair. You should each be contributing equally to the relationship because it needs be a true partnership in order to work.
Did she work all day while you lounged around at home on your day off? Fine, make her a drink when she gets home. Heck, go ahead and cook her dinner. But on your day off she sure as hell better be reciprocating.
The problems begin when you turn into a “yes” man. It’s when you’re cooking EVERY night. It’s when you’re fetching EVERY drink. It’s when you’re always doing what SHE wants you to do. It’s when she never does her part.
When I’m in a relationship I keep it fair. If she has a crappy day, then I do something nice for her. But if I get home after a 12 hour work day, am hungry, and just got chewed out by my boss, if she asks me to fetch her something my response 100% of the time will be “You know where the fridge is. Oh, and grab me a beer and some chips.” I’m happy to do my part but I won’t be a servant, nor do I desire that she be one for me. A healthy relationship is a fair one.
You have to be willing to tell them NO. You have to be willing to disagree with them. Disagreement doesn’t mean having a fight, it means simply to disagree. As in you don’t agree with her point of view on a matter. I disagree with my friends all the time. Why can’t you have an intelligent debate with your woman without it turning into a heated argument?
Relationships can be wonderful things if you’re each contributing equally. The problems arise when the man becomes “whipped” and answers her every command with the word “yes.” Women WILL stop respecting you if you give into their every whim.
Remain a challenge, act like a man, and you’ll have their love as well as respect.