"I'd be happy if I just had a girlfriend."
Back when I was in college I knew this poor guy that used to say that all the time. He honestly believed it was true and that he would be miserable until he found someone, anyone to be with. Then one day he jumped off the top of our dorm building, falling many stories down onto the hard pavement below. True story. The rumor going around at the time was that his jump was due to a girl rejecting him.
The fact is that having a girlfriend, wife, F-buddy, whatever, will not make you happy. They won't take away your problems or make your life complete. The fairy tale that there's a soul mate for everyone is just that, a fairy tale. There is no soul mate and finding her won't make your life complete.
Having a woman, or many women can help elevate your enjoyment of life. But before that can happen you need to like yourself first. You need to be happy with who you are deep inside because if you don't admire who you are at your core, why would anyone else? Let alone that gorgeous blond you just saw walking down the street?
The truth is that what really stops people from being happy and successful in life is fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of taking action, combined with a lack of direction, and/or general laziness. This whole mess of unhealthy habits and emotions stops one from developing what I call inner strength. Inner strength to me is a combination of character, correct attitude, and confidence. True strength comes from having unwavering confidence in yourself.
"But I don't have any confidence," you sigh to yourself.
Then get off your lazy arse and build some! People aren't born with natural confidence as many would have you believe. You have to earn it, and sometimes it's a painful process. You build confidence by being successful at things that matter to you. Do we expect you to go out there and be the best at everything you attempt immediately? No of course not.
You are what people perceive you to be. The simple process of acting strong often leads to the development of real strength. It's always difficult at first but by acting strong and developing correct habits, you are in effect re-wiring your brain so that eventually you'll no longer need to pretend. You will have developed real strength.
Find interests, hobbies, and work that intrigues you. Give it a 110%. The key to building real confidence is to string a series of successes together in areas that are important to you whether it be sports, work, or hobbies. Preferably it will be in a wide range of areas. Work hard in areas that matter to you. With enough hard work you'll eventually see successes start to pile up. Eventually in the back of your head you'll start to feel this genuine glow of healthy pride begin to develop. As you begin to truly like yourself your confidence will grow.
Work on developing the disciple needed to change your unhealthy habits whether it's eating better, exercising, working harder, or whatever. You can change poor behavior by simply forcing yourself to do the right thing until it becomes a habit. This usually takes 2-3 weeks for it to begin to stick. This is how you permanently modify bad behavior.
Let's face it, fast food is unhealthy. If you need to fix your eating habits then stop eating fast food. For 2 weeks you’ll crave your Bigmacs every day. But then that craving will stop, eventually to be replaced by a craving for the healthy foods that you’ve replaced them with. It’s all about developing healthy habits.
Getting back to my original premise that women will not like you until you like yourself, at least not quality women, this is a fact. You can fake it for awhile which is what jerks do. But eventually the facade will stop working.
Work on building your confidence, character, and attitude. Learn to like yourself. Often times when you're concentrating 110% on bettering yourself, women will start to notice you without your even trying.
We challenge you to write down everything "real" that you don't like about yourself. Don't put down things that you can't change, your face, etc.. or are unrealistic. Write down real areas that you know you can improve. Think about these areas and then begin to sketch out a plan to change them. Take action now!