When She Just Wants To Be Friends
"I just want to be friends. No, don't feel bad! It's not you it's me.. You're SUCH a sweet guy! Honestly, you're not the type I'd date, you're the type I'd marry."
When I get that line now I say "Well that's too bad because you're not the type I'd marry, you're the type I'd F&#k." Then I go call the next woman on my list.
I've heard that line more than I'd like to admit and it still stings every single time. What she's really trying to tell you is that you messed up somewhere. It doesn't matter how but she's not attracted to you, she doesn't view you as a man, and probably never will. The more you try to win her the more idiotic you'll appear to her. This is where men will start bringing women flowers, poetry, and other nonsense in an effort to win her heart. You have become her puppy dog.
But you're welcome to stick around to become her emotional tampon if you'd like. She'd be delighted to tell you all about the latest guy problems she's having, about how they all treat her like crap and why oh why can't they all be sweet and sensitive just like you are.
She doesn't really want sweet and sensitive. She wants a man, and you've given her the impression that you aren't one. Maybe you showed too much interest too fast. Maybe you didn't make a move physically when you should have. There's usually a window of opportunity that you need to take action during. Miss it and it's all over.
The fact is that once you're "just friends" you'll never hit it, ever. It's a slow descent into friendship hell for you my friend so unless you enjoy going out for coffee and listening to the woman you want talk about other men, just move on.
There is one reason to possibly stay friends with a woman but only do it if you weren't very interested in her to begin with. Chick friends can be great for picking up other women. Remember, women want men that other women want. Walk into a club with a hot woman by your side and other women will notice. Your worth in their eyes will immediately rise. You can use your chick friend to dance with, and then hit on other women. It works like a charm.
As an added bonus, if you're successful with other women, this will occasionally make your chick friend rethink the "just friends" garbage. You've shown her that other women view you as a man and this can sometimes cause chick friends to become jealous. It doesn't happen often but it happens. And it only happens if you've completely stopped showing any type of romantic interest in your chick friend.
My real advice is that ultimately, staying friends with a woman you're interested in just isn't worth it, especially if you are strongly attracted to her. A lot of guys think "Oh well, if I can't have her romantically then I'll take whatever she'll give me. At least I can still hang out with her!" Then instead of going out and meeting other women they spend months or even years chasing the false hope that one day she'll wake up and see how wonderful he really is. Then they can finally be together as they were surely meant to be.
Bull#@&t! You're a man and you're worth more than that! Get rid of her and go find a woman that will appreciate and treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
So when some woman tells you that she "Just wants to be friends," respond with, "Oh gee thanks, but I have enough friends. I better grab my little book here and see who's available tonight as it appears I need a back up plan."
Then when she looks hurt, say "Oh no, don't feel bad, it's not you it's me. It's just that I already have so many good friends right now that I just honestly wouldn't have time for another."